10 Comparisons of Men to Women in Marriage

I have been a man since conception and will remain so till death. I however first got to know about women by studying the one who bore me, my mother and later on observing women that I went to school with, worked and interacted with. Now I am married and my study continues. My observations below may not be conclusive and absolute as they may not apply to all the men and all the women but I have observed these comparisons in my own life and in others.1. She wants to talk, the man wants to solve the issues – Men are usually focused on solving issues while women sometimes feel better when they talk about the issue more and more. This takes a lot of getting used to for most men. Just sitting down and nodding your head as she goes into the intricate details which you may actually not be interested in is a mission.2. She desires security, the man is more concerned about his ego – Men are so ego-centric while women desire men to bring about security and stability. She is interested in knowing that you will live a happy life, you will be there to the end, you will provide for the family. Most men are careful to just protect their ego. They do no want anyone thinking of them as incapable. It is manly to be an achiever.3. She values quality time, the man is concerned with making more money – Women can spend hours just talking and connecting with their men but as men it takes a lot of discipline to spend quality. It sometimes feels like time is being wasted. This is important to women hence men have to just comply. Sooner or later you begin to adjust how you manage your time and get used to these quality moments Money is necessary but the search for money can not replace the building of the connection between the two.4. She values accountability at all times, the man thinks glossing over issues is good enough – Women sometimes account for the smallest things ever. I have seen that in my wife. She will account for any dollar you give her in detail. In the same token she has an expectation somehow that the man has to also go into detail about what he does. Accountability remains key in marriage. You have to know where both of you are at all the time bit just physically but emotionally as well.5. She desires the truth and transparency, the man thinks certain issues are not for women to know – Again, any lasting relationship should have trust and transparency as the backbone or foundation. There are no hidden secrets. A woman hates it when all she gets are surprises every other day. An issue has left impact on her if you voluntarily submit it to her than for her to stumble over it, by mistake.6. He desires to work hard and achieve, the woman wants to chat away even during working hours – Now, ladies should also realize that men are project oriented most of the time. They want the task done while they are the most relational beings ever. Exercise restraint as much as possible and ensure that productive business time is treated as such. There are some women who do no struggle with this.7. He has big dreams, the woman views it as over-exaggerated – A man desires a woman who believes in him. A man is a hunter and dreamer and the moment the wife doubts what the man is doing, it puts a dent on how he should go forward. Women are supposed to help the men dream better and bring the dreams to reality. It does not remove their role to throw in some intelligent questions to help the man think better. That fuels the man to crystallize the dream. Do not shoot every dream down even though you may not understand it.8. He values being affirmed, the woman’s mind is saying “Let him grow up” – Most men thrive on affirmation especially from their own wives. When you affirm and show that you believe in him, he will do all it takes to keep you happy. Acknowledge even the small victories that he achieves and see him tackle any obstacle.9. He wants time with other men, the woman feels left out and unappreciated – there are times when as a man you desire to be with other man, play a sport etc. It does not remove the fact that the woman is appreciated. Yes, when you are married, your best friend becomes the woman but when men are together, they sharpen each other, they encourage one another. Women also sometimes have some timeout out. It is very good. See how your conversations do not become monotonous but creative as you hear ideas from other couples. Men to men talks are usually tough. Me can exercise their tough stunts on each other which helps them to grow.10. He gets straight to the point, the woman thinks and wishes “If men could just open up more” – Men are accused of sometimes not being expressive. Opening up does not mean that the men must talk more than the woman. I have seen men who really explain in detail all the time. It is a rare thing among men. “How was the game: Good, How is your car: Well it is going good, drives well”. Ask the same woman those questions and you get the story in full color.

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